Tag Archives: fantasy

Chapter 19- Donovan

I stared at Hugh for a long moment, the weight of his question settling between us like an anchor. Then, with a clipped tone, I answered, “No.”

“Then why is he still your agent?” Hugh narrowed his eyes. His voice was calm but pointed, his eyes sharp with curiosity. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you can’t stand the man.”

I exhaled heavily, pressing my fingers against my temple before shutting my eyes briefly. The past felt like a tangled thread in my mind, one I had no desire to unravel, but since we were stuck in this motel room, I felt like I didn’t have a choice but to answer. When I opened my eyes again, I let out a resigned sigh and began.

“When I sold my first book, Marcus was the obvious choice to be my agent. Or at least, that’s what everyone told me. He was already wildly successful—representing some of the biggest names in literary fiction. I was no one. Just a kid who had poured his cynicism and heartbreak into a novel, hoping someone might take notice. And somehow, he did. It shocked me. I couldn’t understand why someone at his level would even bother with me.”

I ran a hand through my hair, feeling the familiar prickle of old shame crawling up my spine. “A few weeks after he signed me, he hit on me. I, well, didn’t say no.”

Hugh’s expression didn’t change, but I could tell he was listening carefully. I forced myself to keep going. “Marcus was attractive enough, I guess, but that wasn’t really the point. He was powerful. He could take my career and catapult it to heights I never imagined. So I went along with it. We started dating, and then—” I swallowed hard. “Then it became something more.”

Hugh shifted slightly, the movement small but perceptible. His voice was quieter when he asked, “Were you ever in love with him?”

I grimaced, the question landing like a blow to the ribs. My jaw tightened, and I looked away. A muscle in my cheek twitched as I forced out the words, low and unconvincing. “Yes, I think?”

I let out a harsh laugh, the sound grating against my own ears. “I don’t know. Maybe I convinced myself I was, because it made the whole thing easier to swallow. The truth is, I was using him. And he was using me right back.”

Hugh’s gaze remained steady, his expression unreadable. “So what changed?”

I felt my shoulders sag, the weight of the past bearing down on me. “I did. Or at least, I tried to. After my fifth book hit the bestseller list, I felt like I had some leverage. Like maybe I didn’t need Marcus as much as I thought I did. So I ended things.”

“And he didn’t take it well.” It wasn’t a question.

I shook my head, a bitter smile twisting my lips. “No, he didn’t. He made it clear he could destroy my career just as easily as he’d built it up. Said he’d blacklist me with every publisher in the industry if I didn’t toe the line.”

Hugh’s brow furrowed, a flicker of anger passing over his features. “So you stayed with him.”

“Not like that,” I clarified quickly. “But I kept him on as my agent, yeah. I didn’t have a choice. He had all the power, and he knew it.”

I suddenly felt exhausted. “And now, here I am. Still tied to him, even after everything. It’s pathetic.”

Hugh was silent for a long moment, his eyes searching my face. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft but firm. “It’s not pathetic. It’s survival. You did what you had to do.”

I met his gaze, something in my chest loosening at the understanding I saw there. “Maybe. But it doesn’t feel like living.”

Hugh leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “So change it. You’re not that struggling writer anymore, and you’re not alone. You have options.”

I huffed out a breath, shaking my head. “It’s not that simple.”

“No,” Hugh agreed, “but it’s not impossible either. You just have to decide what you want, and then fight like hell for it.”

I stared at him, my mind spinning with the possibilities. Could I really do it? Could I break free from Marcus, once and for all? The thought was terrifying, but also strangely exhilarating.

“I don’t know if I’m strong enough,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

Hugh’s hand reached out, his fingers brushing against mine. “You are. And if you ever doubt it, just remember – you’ve got me in your corner.”

I looked down at our hands, a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. For the first time in a long time, I felt a flicker of hope. Maybe Hugh was right. Maybe I could change my story, after all.

Hugh’s hand slid fully into mine, our fingers intertwining. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver down my spine, and I found myself unable to look away from the sight of our joined hands. My pulse quickened, a fluttering sensation taking root in my stomach.

Hugh leaned in closer, his breath warm against my cheek as he whispered, “Donovan, there’s something I need to tell you.”

I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry. The air between us felt charged, electric with a tension that had been building since the moment we’d met. I forced myself to meet his gaze, my voice barely audible as I asked, “What is it?”

Hugh’s eyes searched mine, a mix of vulnerability and determination swirling in their depths. “I… I have feelings for you, Donovan. Genuine feelings. The kind that keep me up at night, wondering what it would be like to hold you, to kiss you, to be with you in every way possible.”

My breath caught in my throat, my heart pounding so loudly I was sure he could hear it. I’d suspected, hoped even, that there was something more between us than just our working together. But to hear him say it out loud, to have him confirm what I had been too afraid to acknowledge… it was overwhelming.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead, I squeezed his hand tighter, hoping the gesture would convey everything I couldn’t say.

Hugh’s lips curved into a small smile, his thumb brushing gently across my knuckles. “I know this is complicated. I know you’re still dealing with the fallout from Marcus, and the last thing I want to do is pressure you or make things harder for you. But I couldn’t keep pretending that what I feel for you isn’t real.”

I nodded slowly, my mind racing with a thousand thoughts and emotions. Part of me wanted to pull away, to run from the intensity of what was happening between us. But a bigger part of me, the part that had been drawn to Hugh from the very beginning, wanted to lean in, to close the distance between us and see where this could go.

“Hugh, I…” I started, my voice trembling slightly. “Don’t think for one second I don’t have feelings for you too. But I wonder if it’s right to pursue anything with you.”

Hugh’s eyebrows drew together. “Why?”

I took a deep breath, trying to steady the pounding of my heart. “Because, Hugh… I’m your boss. And after everything that happened with Marcus, the last thing I want is to repeat the same mistakes. To let a power imbalance cloud my judgment, or worse, to make you feel you don’t have a choice.”

Hugh’s eyes widened, a flicker of surprise crossing his features. But then his expression softened, and he reached up to cup my cheek with his free hand. His touch was gentle, almost reverent, and I found myself leaning into it despite my reservations.

“Donovan,” he murmured, “You’re nothing like Marcus. You would never abuse your position or take advantage of me. I know that with every fiber of my being.”

I wanted to believe him. God, how I wanted to believe him. But the scars from my past ran deep, and I couldn’t shake the fear that history might repeat itself.

“How can you be so sure?” I whispered, my voice cracking slightly. “How do you know I won’t hurt you, even if I don’t mean to?”

Hugh’s thumb brushed lightly across my cheekbone, tracing the line of my jaw. “Because I know you, Donovan. And you’d never hurt me on purpose.”

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. “I’m scared, Hugh,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “Scared of messing this up, of losing you, of getting hurt again. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to take that risk.”

Hugh’s hand slid from my cheek to the back of my neck, his fingers threading gently through my hair. “You don’t have to be strong enough on your own, Donovan. We can be strong together. We can take this one day at a time, figure it out as we go. All I know is that I want to be with you in whatever way you’ll have me.”

I stared at him, my heart swelling with fear and longing. Every instinct I had was telling me to pull away, to protect myself from the potential heartbreak that loomed on the horizon. But as I looked into Hugh’s eyes, I saw a future there that I couldn’t ignore.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, my decision crystallized in my mind. Slowly, I leaned forward, closing the remaining distance between us until our foreheads were touching, our noses brushing lightly against each other.

“I want this, Hugh,” I breathed, my voice trembling but certain. “I want you. I’m terrified, but I’m also tired of letting my fear control me. I’m tired of living half a life, always holding back, always wondering what could have been.”

Hugh’s eyes shimmered with emotion. “Then let’s be brave together,” he murmured, his lips hovering just a hairsbreadth from mine. “Let’s take the leap and see where we land.”

And with that, he closed the gap between us, his lips meeting mine in a kiss that was both gentle and searing. I melted into him, my hands coming up to tangle in his hair as his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer until there was no space left between us.

In that moment, everything else fell away – the doubts, the fears, the ghosts of my past that had haunted me for so long. All that mattered was Hugh, and the way he made me feel alive in a way I hadn’t been in years.

As we broke apart, breathless and flushed, I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face. Hugh mirrored my expression, his eyes sparkling with a mix of joy and wonder.

“That was…” he started, his voice low and slightly hoarse.

“Amazing,” I finished for him, my heart still racing in my chest. “Absolutely amazing.”

Hugh grinned, his hand sliding up to cup my cheek again. “I was going to say life-changing, but amazing works, too.” He leaned in, capturing my lips once more in a kiss that quickly turned heated. I parted my lips, inviting his tongue deeper inside me as my hands roamed over his back and shoulders, feeling the lean muscles beneath his shirt.

Without breaking the kiss, Hugh gently pushed me back onto the bed, his body covering mine as his weight settled between my thighs. I gasped at the contact, my hips arching up instinctively to meet his. Hugh groaned softly into my mouth, one hand sliding down my side to grip my hip.

“Donovan,” he breathed against my lips, his voice rough with desire. “Tell me you want this. Tell me it’s okay.”

Making It Real is the first full-length novel in the Making It Series. It’s available exclusively at my personal bookstore Cruz Publishing for the next week. To read it now, check out my bookstore!